leonicanadas's posterous http://leonicanadas.posterous.com Most recent posts at leonicanadas's posterous posterous.com Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:20:09 -0800 WTF??? http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/wtf-1306 http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/wtf-1306
Wtf

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Tue, 09 Feb 2010 05:51:28 -0800 If Mr Bean was in Avatar http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/if-mr-bean-was-in-avatar-2 http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/if-mr-bean-was-in-avatar-2

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Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:00:11 -0800 Meet me at the coffee shop http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/meet-me-at-the-coffee-shop-1 http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/meet-me-at-the-coffee-shop-1

Hilarious!!!

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Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:09:10 -0800 Fw: Your screen needs a clean http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/fw-your-screen-needs-a-clean http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/fw-your-screen-needs-a-clean
YOUR SCREEN NEEDS A CLEAN.XLS Download this file


 

YOUR SCREEN NEEDS A CLEAN UP !!!!

 

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Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:41:40 -0800 Laziness http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/laziness-16 http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/laziness-16  
You cant be lazier than these guys....























 

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Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:28:27 -0800 Vaguebooking: Urban Word of the Day http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/vaguebooking-urban-word-of-the-day http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/vaguebooking-urban-word-of-the-day  

February 3: Vaguebooking

An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help.

Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it"
Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea"

Example:
"Have you talked to Mark? He's vaguebooking again. I wonder if he's back with Mary..."

Opposite:

Tammy is: "in line at the grocery store"

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Net Atlantic

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Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:39:01 -0800 What matters most is How You see yourself_1.jpg (377×523) http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/what-matters-most-is-how-you-see-yourself1jpg http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/what-matters-most-is-how-you-see-yourself1jpg
Media_httpwwwnotescoi_ufvfc

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Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:23:50 -0800 One out of three... - leonicanadas's posterous http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/one-out-of-three-leonicanadass-posterous http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/one-out-of-three-leonicanadass-posterous

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Tue, 26 Jan 2010 06:32:31 -0800 Food on the floor, do you eat it? http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/food-on-the-floor-do-you-eat-it-1 http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/food-on-the-floor-do-you-eat-it-1

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Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:43:07 -0800 1983 Wimpy Prices! http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/1983-wimpy-prices http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/1983-wimpy-prices
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Haha...1983 Wimpy Prices!!

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Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:34:20 -0800 In Loving Memory of an Amazing Man... http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/in-loving-memory-of-an-amazing-man http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/in-loving-memory-of-an-amazing-man

I feel blessed to have known this amazing man...a loving husband...a protective father... a loyal friend...a selfless mentor...a teacher of passion, dedication and hard work...a example to all of values...the heart and soul of the Body Conscious family. ...Brave...Strong...always and forever in our hearts...Unstoppable! In Loving Memory of Arnold Gouws. All my Love to Sandy, Marcelle, Ashlyn, Family and Friends

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Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:22:58 -0800 Tiger Tiger... http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/tiger-tiger-6 http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/tiger-tiger-6
Media_httpphotosaakfbcdnnethphotosaksnc3hs090snc31573613017068654051312462533308908637017943njpg_fkwcobaubdidaea

Hehehe

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Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:25:36 -0700 You know the world is going crazy when.... http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/you-know-the-world-is-going-crazy-when http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/you-know-the-world-is-going-crazy-when "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." 

- Chris Rock

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Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:38:14 -0700 Brilliant ---> Suggestions For Women To Respond To Pickup Lines http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/brilliant-suggestions-for-women-to-respond-to http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/brilliant-suggestions-for-women-to-respond-to Suggestions For Women To Respond To Pickup Lines

"Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." 

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

"Is this seat empty?"
"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

"So, wanna go back to my place?"
"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

"I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
"It's in the phone book."
"But I don't know your name."
"That's in the phone book too."

"What sign were you born under?"
"No Parking."

"I know how to please a woman."
"Then please leave me alone."

"Haven't we met before?"
"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

"I want to give myself to you."
"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

"I can tell that you want me."
"Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave."

"Hey, baby, What's your sign?"
"Stop."

"Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

"May I see you pretty soon?"
"Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

"Your body is like a temple."
"Sorry, there are no services today."

"I'd go through anything for you."
"Good! Let's start with your bank account."

"I would go to the end of the world for you."
"Yes, but would you stay there?"


"Your place or mine?"
"Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

After hearing a pickup line:
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?"
say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."

He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.

He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!

Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours!

Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

He: Your legs go clear up to your a**.
She: Most peoples' do!

Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

"You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep."

He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

"I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."

"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk." 

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Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:36:28 -0700 35 fun things to do while driving http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/35-fun-things-to-do-while-driving http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/35-fun-things-to-do-while-driving 35 fun things to do while driving
1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged. 
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang. 
3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling. 
4. Two words: Chicken suit. 
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. 
6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver. 
7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot. 
8. Stop at the green lights. 
9. Go at the red ones. 
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance. 
11. Eat food that requires silverware. 
12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive. 
13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors. 
14. Honk frequently without motivation. 
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture. 
16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon. 
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss. 
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look. 
19. Restart your car at every stop light. 
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly. 
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window. 
22. Keep at least five cats in the car. 
23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop. 
24. If an fire truck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass! 
25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse. 
26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone. 
27. Stop and collect roadkill. 
28. Stop and pray for roadkill. 
29. Stop and cook roadkill. (If in Tennessee.) 
30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse. 
31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to...a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. 
32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. 
33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!" 
34. Sing without having the radio on. 
35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you, then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off... 

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/242281/ProfileTatThree.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAVm4OWfRi9 Leoni Canadas leonicanadas Leoni Canadas
Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:27:56 -0700 Finaly we hear "Guy Rules" LOL ....Braveman = Guy actually saying any of this outloud! Hehehe http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/finaly-we-hear-guy-rules-lol-braveman-guy-act http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/finaly-we-hear-guy-rules-lol-braveman-guy-act We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping. 

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Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:23:32 -0700 In Honor of Stupid People http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/in-honor-of-stupid-people http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/in-honor-of-stupid-people In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. 

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Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:22:02 -0700 Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)? http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/is-hell-exothermic-gives-off-heat-or-endother http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/is-hell-exothermic-gives-off-heat-or-endother The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A. 

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Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:10:32 -0700 Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/annoying-things-to-do-on-an-elevator http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/annoying-things-to-do-on-an-elevator Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 

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Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:40:29 -0700 Cheerleading bloopers // Because it's always more awesome to laugh at someone else's expense - Don Packett's pleasant posterous party place http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/cheerleading-bloopers-because-its-always-more-0 http://leonicanadas.posterous.com/cheerleading-bloopers-because-its-always-more-0

Shame!!! LMAO!

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/242281/ProfileTatThree.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAVm4OWfRi9 Leoni Canadas leonicanadas Leoni Canadas